


C(ash)ed.

by HeWhoShallNotBeCaughtReadingFanFics



Series: Need a Light? [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Consensual Sex, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-06-07 18:36:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6819463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeWhoShallNotBeCaughtReadingFanFics/pseuds/HeWhoShallNotBeCaughtReadingFanFics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What comes next after Alexander and John finally confess their feelings for each other? Will the fire that they had together continue to fill their lungs with the sweet fumes of love or will their flames turn into ash by the world around them? </p><p>Sequel to Burned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> They literally start off fucking. Just a warning. The song that I use in the beginning is PILLOWTALK by Zayn. It's good to be back in the world of fanfiction. I knew I wasn't finished with this 'verse. This is best read if you read my fic Burned. but I guess you can understand it without it??? Either way, I've got five more in-depth outlined chapters for ya. Come get it!

“ _So we'll piss off the neighbours / In the place that feels the tears / The place to lose your fears..._ ”

Their spotify playlist echoes off the walls of John’s dorm, muffling their moans. John Laurens is already balls deep in Alexander Hamilton’s ass and there is no place either boy would rather be. It feels so natural to have each other this close and personal. Finally finding the semi-solution to their noise complaint issues, almost nothing else feels more complete than the first time making love to one another since the previous semester.

“Yes, yes, yes! Oh John, fuck! Please, you gotta--!”

“I know, baby.”

Although they haven’t had the chance to be this intimate with each other since the fourth of July weekend, it feels like nothing has changed. John’s hands know exactly where to go to make Alex feel like he’s helplessly floating. He slams his hips up almost twice as fast to the slow beat of the music. Alex clenches around him and the other already knows what that means.

John leans down and whispers in his ear, “what’s my name?”

“...John...”

“Couldn’t hear you. What?”

“JOHN.”

“One more time. Like you mean it,” he growls as he jerks Alex’s dick in his hand, coming fast and hard.

“ _JOHN_. Fuck! John, John, John. So _good_ , John _so_ good.”

John takes his time, pounding the other’s ass to his heart’s content until he too succumbs and voids himself directly to the condom with his signature loud grunt. Immediately, he pulls out, knowing that if he doesn’t, he’ll stay there forever. A big part of him wants him to stay there forever, but he knows he can’t; Alexander’s legs need to stretch. He settles for laying on his side.

“God, I’ve missed you,” Alex kisses him on the cheek.

“Missed you, too,” John says, getting out of bed and dragging Alex out by the hand, “but I also want to take you out this Friday. Wanna show everyone how much I love my baby.”

“Oooo, I gotta call Aaron and tell him that I got me a man who can do both!”

Alex follows John into the separate bathroom, much thankful that he was able to upgrade into a better dorm without an RA next to him.

“Why do you even bring him up? You know I don’t fucks with Burr, especially while my dick is out.”

Alex laughs and gets in the shower with his boyfriend.

“He knows how to work Professor Seabury. I need his help if I’m gonna pass his class, let alone get an A.”

“Hey, I don’t want to hear a goddamn thing about what Aaron Burr can work. I’m already in the shower. Now pass me the damn soap. You’re going to be wonderful, Alex. Don’t worry.”

Worry, however, he did. After spending a few more hours with his boyfriend trying to get him to stay even longer (“you help me focus so much more”, “I can’t take my eyes off of you”, or “I can go another round”), Alex finally left to go back to his single dorm, halfway across campus.

Although Hercules and Alex had hit it off very well, they found friends in different people; Hercules rooming with Lafayette instead, while Alex and John thought it best not to room together in case of worst cases that neither of them really liked to think about.

Upon making himself settled, Aaron knocks on his door and Alex is thankful that he made it back early enough to make it look at so though he was actually doing something of importance. Aaron takes the bean bag in the corner and immediately asks of Alex what he wants over, pulling out his notes from last semester.

“So where exactly are you? Have you started analyzing Swift yet?”

It is not that Alex seems to be distracted, but nothing really prepares Aaron by the massive amount of notes that Alex pulls from his backpack as he tries to find where he left off. His binder is carefully stacked with filled sheets of paper separated into neat sections. Not to mention his textbooks spit out little color-coded post-it notes on the ends. He has got to hand to the man; the organization was intense.

“Yeah, but I’ve taken the liberty of really dividing up his paragraphs and really devising a more developed concept of what he was trying to say about Ireland at the time. I mean for one, the man--”

“Jesus, Hamilton! How many credits are you taking this semester?!”

“17.” Aaron’s heart sank. “Anyway, I mean like he completely embodies this whole white savior complex. I mean, yeah satire, good stuff, but dude literally suggested cannibalism as a joke to solve famine. Like bro, take it down a notch... or five. So then I started looking at his bio and then--!”

“Okay, one, that’s funny coming from you, which, two, leads me to my next point. Why the fuck are you taking 17 credits? Are you good, man? I know it’s tough, but it’s okay to take more than four years to graduate.”

He scoffs at him in reply. “Just you wait, Burr. I feel like I’m in a really good place to handle it this semester. I know what I’m doing this time,”

“Well, by the hickies on your neck, I can tell that you and Laurens are doing fairly well. Let’s get back to work. You were talking about cannibalism?”

“Someone’s just mad because I’m getting dick on the daily. Don’t worry, fam. Your time will come.”

Alex manages to slightly dodge the package of post-it notes thrown at him like a speeding bullet.

It turns out, like most of their relationship, whatever Aaron supplies, Alexander takes and runs with it, stretching out the limits of what they initially thought would get down for the night. By the time Aaron leaves, Alexander finds himself fully engulfed with the reign of his schoolwork. Aaron is right. 17 credits may be overdoing it. However, everything is going so well that maybe Alex deserves to push himself harder.

Leaving for summer break was harder than it was for winter break. It was three whole months of being away from John, from being away from designated schoolwork, and even being away from the little recreational habit that he picked up on the side. The loneliness made him confront things that he had been able to get away with avoiding, but being stuck with his old receptionist job at the import-export firm, he tried to work on dealing with some of the trauma of his past.

He decided on going back to church. He figured that it worked for his mother and that it could work for him. It was one of the first things he did to help him discover himself, but when that was met with indifference and little improvement to his personal self-esteem, he left it all behind for something he had control over: his words.

He started writing again, little poems here and there. It let him grieve over issues that should have been dealt with a long time ago. Paper or a word document couldn’t judge him or make him serve penance like the church had. Even if he hadn’t healed, he still saw things for what they were. A calming honesty grew in his vision.

In exchange, he would take everything that John had to offer. He lets him spoil him just enough to feel validated and makes sure to let John in like he promised. It works for the most part. So by the time the fall semester rolls back around, Alex feels confident, ready to take on the world in front of him one day at a time.

Friday rolls around easily enough. Everything with Swift unsurprisingly works out, much to Aaron’s approval. Alex takes a step out of his comfort zone and leaves his studies for the night unattended to immediately go out and meet his boyfriend across campus at his dorm. He’s hoping that they would go out to that new restaurant they had put on the edge of town. Clubs were very over-stimulating and at the end of the week, it wasn’t exactly what he had in mind.

Although his suspicions on his walk there is mostly related to where they were going, as he approached the building, they soon turn to what’s going on right in front of him. A police car sits right out front of the residence hall. Nothing seems to be major, but, after John’s first offense at the beginning of last fall semester, Alex’s prone to worrying about him.

He walks his way up to the second floor and marches directly towards the other boys dorm, only to be pulled into the room across the hall from John’s. The door shuts as he’s thrown into the neat and pristine dorm but who it belonged to became a mystery.

“Washington, George Washington.” He sticks out his hand which hesitantly Alex accepts.

“I’m Alexander Hamilton.”

“I know. John’s about to get arrested. I wanted to stop you before you went in there.”

“Excuse me?”

“No, like for real. The cops are in there right now. I was chilling with John when two of them came through.”

“Don’t fuck with me, man. I don’t even know you.”

“Fine. Listen for yourself.”

Washington pushes him back in the hallway. They get as close as they can get away with without them trying to look as though they’re aren’t trying to listen in.

“What do you do with the money,” an older loud voice asks. The reply is muffled, much softer and calmer, radiates John-ness. “You sure about that, boy?”

Alex’s face twists in horror as the paranoia fills his mind. He already knows what will happen. John will go to jail. The legal system is gonna screw him up so bad that he’ll be sentenced for so long. He won’t even be in the state. He’ll get expelled. Sent back to the south. That isn’t even the worst case. Couldn’t think of the worst case. The way the police officer spit the word “boy” at him. It makes him cringe. The worst case, the worst case, the worst case...

Washington clears his throat and Alex looks up to see him holding the door open as a gesture to come inside. Wait it out with him to see how bad the damage is.

They sit in silence on the floor for another five minutes. The only conversation that breaks them together is Washington explaining himself.

“We were just talking in the hallway. We were both just coming back. Me from my TA position, him from the dining hall.”

“Someone must of have snitched.”

“Scared freshman, probably.”

“You know since you’re telling me all of this, I have no reason to believe that you didn’t do this.”

For the rest of the duration, they sit in silence, hoping to hear an outburst or something that meant they were going to know what to do.

The shoe drops soon enough when they hear a door being opened and the shuffling of bodies moving. Washington races over to the door only to be pushed out of the way by Alex, shoving his eye into the peephole of the door. Two white male police officers escort a handcuffed John down the hallway with another officer behind him, carrying a plastic bag. Evidence maybe.

Alex rips open the door and runs after the group, Washington trailing swiftly behind him. Once down the stairs, he runs into the RA demanding answers as why one of his residents is being arrested. However, this does not stop Alex from demanding questions from the police.

“Where are you taking him?!” The police officer with the evidence turns his head back to see the hysterical student. “Please, I need to know where you’re taking him.”

“We’re taking him down to the station. You don’t have to worry about this guy running around here anymore.”

The slam of the car door isn’t enough to make Alex get taken out of his daze. It isn’t until Washington comes up behind him that he realizes he’s crying. He raises his hand to rub Alex’s back, but Alex immediately rips away from his touch, wipes his eyes, and starts running in the direction of the station.

“I gotta get down there.”

“Hamilton, wait!” Washington runs after him, only prompting Alex to speed up. “Wait, dammit!”

Whether Alex’s lungs get tired or Washington just goes into hyper-speed, they slow down and catch their breath.

“Listen to me,” Washington starts. “I know you want to help Laurens, but think logically for a second. What can you do? Do you have a lawyer? Do you even have bail money?” Alex walks around and almost starts running again, but Washington tugs at his arm. “No, I’m serious. You can’t help right now. If anything, you march right down there in the state you’re in, they arrest you, too. Now what are you going to do then, Hamilton?”

“You don’t fucking know me, alright?! You’re not my fucking dad. Get off my back! I’ll do what I need to do. Now, let me fucking go, you piece of shit,” Alex finally yells back loudly and unfiltered, spit flying from his mouth.

“You think I don’t know you? John talks about you all of the fucking time. Yes, I’ll admit that John and I are just meeting. The semester just started, but I know more than you think, alright? I know enough to know that that kid loves the fuck out of you and you think that posting up in a fucking police station is smart, be my fucking guest, but that’s not going to make John feel better. You don’t have to be his knight and shining armor all of the time. It’s okay to not have control over these kinds of things because there’s no way you can.”

The tears that leak from Alex’s eyes fills a moat that separates him his comfort zone from the world unknown. The embrace around his frame from Washington is the bridge that connects the two together.

The next few hours are a blur, a literal blur. Alex cries so much he can’t see clearly. Doesn’t know exactly when or how Lafayette and Hercules get here. He lays on Washington’s firm bed, facing the wall. The only sound echoing the walls is Alex’s soft tears and a whispering sob that sounds suspiciously like, “what are we gonna do?”


	2. think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for mass delay. I was going to abandon this piece, but something made me pick it back up again. See you next chapter!

No one sees him for days. He’s not allowed on the premises. The night his father came to bail him out, he stood on the rooftop of the highest building on campus and let out the biggest shout in the world. No tears involved, just a tired man and his thoughts.

He’s allowed on Monday to collect his things, but until then, he’s staying in a hotel across town with his father before he has to leave again. His father’s probably waiting for him, too. He doesn’t usually like the city, but when it came to John, his father seemed unpredictable. Their relationship together is complex, to say the least. They’re a puzzle that John doesn’t have enough pieces to put together. His father is the only one who knows what they’re supposed to look like.

When John gets back to the hotel, Henry Laurens is sitting in the corner recliner, a glass of wine in one hand and a lit cigar in the other. The Mills Brothers whisper from the stereo. The younger feels like he’s walked into something personal. It’s enough to make him walk back out of the room, but the sound of his name makes him gravitate back.

“Come sit, John. Let’s talk. Have a beer. They’re in the fridge.”

John frowns. “Dad, I’m only twenty.”

“Lie to me one more time and see what the _fuck_ happens,” his father snaps. John flinches in response like it’s muscle memory. A haunting flashback spins in the stereo and the bitter melody agrees.

“ _You always take the sweetest rose, And crush it till the petals fall_...”

Neither of them know who that song belongs to.

John’s father downs the last of his wine and puts out his cigar in the ashtray on the nightstand next to him. A soft sigh escapes his lips.

“Listen, I’ve thought about what to do with you for a long time and I’m still not sure where I’ve gone wrong, but I think I’ve found the solution. After this investigation is over, I’m going to leave you up here. I’ll deposit some money into your account, but I can’t coddle you. You can come back to me when you’re a real man, but I don’t bring my family around drug dealers.”

“Dad, _I’m_ your family.”

“Not after this. I'll make the court appearances, pay for the lawyer fees, everything, just as long as you stay the hell away from my family. John, get yourself together. You’ve been nothing in trouble since the day you came up here. I don’t have the time to fix you anymore.” John looks up to his father as if he’s seeing him for this first time. “No, you don’t get to do that.”

“Do what?”

“You don’t get to give me those looks and twist my words around and make it about me accusing you of being broken. It’s fact, John. You’re fucking broken and it’s my duty as a father to do what’s best for you, okay?” It’s not a golf ball stuck in John’s throat, but his dignity. He’s trying to keep it from escaping. “Do I make myself clear? Yes or no?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s what I thought. Get some rest, John. We’ve got a big day tomorrow. I’ve hired the best lawyer in town who could take over your case. We’ll meet, discuss your options, and see where you go from there.”

He rises from his armchair, a little unsteady; that’s the wine settling. He flattens the creases on his shirt with his hands like it helps, but they’re still there. His fingers start to unbutton them as he makes his way into the bathroom. The shower kicks on and for a few minutes John is alone.

John takes a beer out of the fridge and chugs the can in a few gulps. He takes the second bed and passes out to his father’s off-key The Mills Brothers rendition.

“ _If I broke your heart last night, It’s because I love you most of all_...”

\----------------

“What do you mean you lost your housing,” asks curious Alex.

John sips his coffee from the shop they agreed to have lunch at that Tuesday. For the most part, his case is settled. It’s all too fast and smells too much like privilege for any of it to be real. He’s on parole now, agreed to take drug rehabilitation classes, and go to therapy, anything to avoid actual prison time. He thanks God for his freedom. However, their university wasn’t so lenient.

“It means I lost my housing. I don’t have those rights anymore. My dad paid for a few months on an apartment in the south side of town. It’s right on the bus line to get to campus. The school won’t let me have housing. I’m barely allowed in the residence halls.”

“Fuck that! Let’s fight against it. You should be able to live wherever you damn well please.”

“You think I didn’t?”

“Well sometimes I know you’re father holds you back and--.”

“Holds me back? You think I can’t handle myself, too, don’t you? Well, I’ll show you two. I’ll fucking get myself together that you won’t even notice me before the semester is out.”

Alex reaches across the table to hold John’s hand. “Now, John--”

“ _Don’t fucking_ _tou_ _ch_ _me_!”

The rest of the quaint little shop glues their eyes towards their table. John’s eyes, however, are holding back regret from pouring out. Alex holds a blank stare. Once bustle of the shop presses play, Alex finally speaks up.

“Do you remember when everything was so much simpler? All we had to worry about was if we were going to go to bed that night or if we’d have to spend the entire night making up homework because we read the syllabus wrong.”

“That was more you than me,”John quietly replies.

“Yeah, well, I always hated it. We stand for something now, something new.”

“We?”

“Of course, we! You think you’re doing this alone? Fuck that! I’m not going to let you do this on your own and don’t you dare think that you can make me change on my mind.”

John sips his coffee and looks out the booth window next to him.

“He’s right, you know? This is my chance to really push myself. I mean it’s my junior year for fuck’s sake. I’m a Human Rights major and haven’t had a single internship or job. Alex, I’m running out of time. I’ve been sitting on my ass for fucking years, man. You know the real reason why I started selling shit in the first place? Because I was bored. Nothing much to it, but a fucking bored ass rich kid trying to make a few bucks to piss off Daddy. You see how far that got me. Well, I’m done. I’m done with all of it. I’m done being called broken. I’m getting my family back, damn it.”

Alex slides out of the booth and reaches out his hand. He doesn’t press this time, only smiles when John’s hand meets him halfway.

“Well then. Let’s get it.”

\----------------

James Reynolds places the tablet on his tongue and tells him to swallow.

“I mean, it’s nothing like weed, but it’s better.”

Alex’s phone vibrates in his pocket and he refuses the answer it. He won’t reply until he comes down. He decides this before he goes to James’s dorm. It’s in the honors housing so he passes like he’s trying, but he’s gotta hide this from John. He can’t find out about this. John’s been working so hard these past few weeks to stay clean, but Alex has needs right now and if John can’t fulfill them, he’s got other people who will.

“What’s this shit again?”

“It’s this new shit called the Black Maria. Couldn’t tell you what was in it if I tried. I hear it’s a mix of adderall and dabs. It sounds like a bad idea, I know, but like give it a few hours.”

Alex stands there for a few seconds and lets himself feel for a second. The other clears his throat.

“Sorry, I just have homework. Let me know how everything works out later, dude.”

He opens the door for his guest to leave.

“You remember what we agreed on, right? You can’t tell anyone I was here.”

“Yeah, man. Nobody needs to know.”


End file.
